I Finally Got It

I finally understand Joshua's frustration a little bit more about not being able to talk. I mean, he will be sitting at the table eating & point to the kitchen to tell me that he wants something different. I have no idea what he wants. He shakes his head "no" at everything I offer. Eventually a tantrum will ensue that involves him throwing food & crying & me just being frustrated that I can't give him what he wants & feeling helpless.

The other day it occurred to me that I have been in his situation...sort of. I lived in China 5 years ago. Now, I don't speak Chinese & only learned enough to get by while I was there. By that, I mean, I could direct a taxi driver back to my campus by saying "turn left", "turn right", & "go straight"; I could order food at the restaurants on our campus; I could tell people I was American & that I was a teacher; and I could say that I didn't speak Chinese. That was about the extent of it. Since Chinese is a tonal language, I usually messed those things up. I mean, if you were trying to say "I am a teacher" & used the wrong tone, you said "I am a mouse". I would get so frustrated when I was doing my best to speak Chinese & people would just look at me. I mean, I might as well have just been pointing letting them guess what I wanted. Actually, there was a lot of pointing & nodding in the year that I was there. Whenever we went to KFC or McDonalds (the only American options in my city), they would pull out a picture menu & we would point to what we wanted....reminds me of when I hold two things up for Joshua & let him point to what he wants. I still feel helpless when I don't know what he wants, but at least I have been reminded that I lived for year with communication barriers, and I can be more patient & empathetic.